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Hey guys, so let's talk about what I call The Relationship Importance Algorithm.

I will probably have a wayyy better name for this later on, but this is how it works:

Now, a large part of why you are hurting right now is very much due to how important your former relationship was to you.

When the hierarchy goes like this:

Former Relationship > You

You will experience a LOT of pain. This means that you define your self-worth, and hence, possibly your whole life, on your relationship.

If you make the hierarchy go like this:

You > Former Relationship

You will start to heal.

What many of people do is that though they work on themselves and blah blah blah, they are still placing their relationship before themselves.

If you find that you're doing this, that's why you're hurting.

That's why you're still devastated.

And I can't go into your head and un-important the relationship for you.

Only you can do that.

I am sure that you've heard of people doing really cool things like vigorously training for a marathon, or travelling the world after a breakup?

And they were so vocal about it too.

It's because they placed the importance of running or travelling before their former relationship.

They made it MORE important than anything else.

So, dear friend, you need to start ranking your former relationship compared to everything else that is happening right now in your life.

When:

Work > Former Relationship = You will heal

Travel > Former Relationship = You will heal

Baking > Former Relationship = You will heal

Cats > Former Relationship = You will heal 

However, if you find your former relationship coming out tops in everything, that's why you're not healing.

So start making something else in your life more important to you.

It might just save you on those really horrible days.

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About the Author

Hi, I'm Cherlyn. I'm a transformational life coach who helps smart, busy women get over their ex bfs/husbands, heal fully and end the cycle of toxic love. Want to get over your ex 5 times as fast? Head over to the menu bar and join my Facebook Group for support, advice and kick-assery!