Shelving Your Former Relationship

Going through your first holiday while newly single, even when you're nearly over your ex, can sure bring back a whole new level of dread.

It's an awkward time, and you might feel somewhat anxious, a little lonely and a little guilty, tinged with bits of delight here and there.

Mixed Bag of Emotion

Or you might just downright hate everything.

Let it snow

But annoying truth be told, I find that the holidays are actually the BEST time to finally be done with your former relationship. Ya know, "out with the old, in with the new"?

So here's a holiday visualization that I did to clear off all that old energy and leave my former relationship firmly in the past:

More...

Imagine a nice snowy landscape.

Snowy Landscape

And then imagine that there's a little shed in the middle of it all.

Little Shed

You walk towards the shed, open the door and find that there are many shelves within, just waiting to be filled.

Shelves

This is the place where you store all your memories. Your little place for storing things that mean something really special to you.

Now imagine a box.

Box

Yes, just like that.

But instead of the box in my other comic, this one is different.

This box is your box. And yours only.

Box

And then imagine that your box contains all sorts of different compartments, one for each memory, each thought and each feeling that you’ve had during your former relationship.

When you are done with going through each memory...

When you’ve felt all that you needed to feel...

And when you’ve finished seeing through to the truth of each thought...

Thought Bag

Take that memory, that feeling or that thought and put it into a compartment.

Thought

Some memories, thoughts or feelings can never be fully dealt with, and that’s fine.

That’s perfectly OK.

We can inspect those things with a magnifying glass all we want, turn them inside out and outside in, but sometimes, we just have to accept that we’re never going to get all the answers.

Magnifying Glass

So, with a deep, deep breath, we let go of that very sad thing and put it in a compartment.

All those loose strings, let’s tie them up and place them into the box.

Loose Strings

Yes, just like that.

Now, we start to close all the compartments in the box. We may look at them sadly, but we still close them.

Compartments in the box

And when everything is neatly closed, when everything is tucked away in its own little compartment, we lift that box carefully and place it on a shelf.

Little Compartment

When we can do that, and do it courageously and determinedly, we can then say to ourselves that we have truly moved on.

Now, that box won’t go away. It’s still going to be a part of you.

It’s just shelved away, to be opened occasionally, not to make you sad, but in appreciation of all the lessons you’ve learned, and all the wonderful memories that you did have.

Butterfly

You’re grateful for that box, and when you do open it again, it’s to rearrange a few things or tie up a few more loose ends.

And then you close it once again.

Thought and Feeling

You place it back onto that special shelf, dust it off a bit and walk away.

You’re always looking forward now.

You might glance over your shoulder occasionally, but mostly, you're excited for what's to come.

Little Shed
Little Shed
Little Shed

The future can be really bright, but only if you let it.

So let it.

starlight

About the Author

Hi, I'm Cherlyn. I'm a breakup recovery and dating coach who helps successful, high-achieving women get over their ex bfs/husbands, heal fully and find love again.I've been featured as an expert on Business Insider, Mindbodygreen, Huffington Post, Elite Daily, Bustle, Lifehack, etc. Watch my FREE "Science of Why Successful Career Women LOVE Toxic Men" Workshop to find out about the research and neuroscience behind this phenomenon.

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