As a breakup recovery coach, I'll be honest, generally, the answer to this hot question is no.
After all, you did break up for a reason.
And most of the time, the reason will continue to be the same reason why you should never get back together again... ever.
There’s a saying that goes, “After a breakup, the loyal one stays single and deals with the damages until healed. The other one is already in a relationship.”
It sounds so bleak, so dismissive and so hopeless. And at a glance, we think it’s true. After all, we’re the ones suffering, discarded and unloved, while they get to go about galavanting around with their new girlfriend and living their happy, happy life.
We’re the ones nursing our broken hearts, devastated and ashamed, forced to witness someone else living the future we always thought was meant for us.
But fret not dear one, I’m here to completely spoil that saying for you.
Going through your first holiday while newly single, even when you're nearly over your ex, can sure bring back a whole new level of dread.
It's an awkward time, and you might feel somewhat anxious, a little lonely and a little guilty, tinged with bits of delight here and there.
Or you might just downright hate everything.
But annoying truth be told, I find that the holidays are actually the BEST time to finally be done with your former relationship. Ya know, "out with the old, in with the new"?
So here's a holiday visualization that I did to clear off all that old energy and leave my former relationship firmly in the past:
Summer, 2010.
I’m in Phoenix, Arizona, it’s morning and I’m just having my breakfast. I sit down next to a guy in glasses. He’s cute and blond, and we’re both traveling around California for two weeks.
I introduce myself, and he says his name is Ben, and that he’s a graphic designer.
Wow, I say, so am I.
And so it begins.
“How do you do it?” My friend, Casey asked.
“Huh?” I said as I looked up at her from the book that I was reading.
“How do you cope with the pain? How do you do it?” She looked at me in the eye.
